The week Son and I were alone with my parents, he and his Grandpa kept talking trucks. Son likes the Ford F150. Grandpa has a Dodge Ram ("yeah, it's a hemi," which my Dad explained and I gathered means it's neato.)
"Dodgy-ram," says Son who is loyal above all and calls to chat with his own Dad - just to reaffirm the excellence of the Fords ("F150" which also means something neato, I bet) that these two have been pedaling over on their bikes to admire at the local dealer for some time now.
"So, should we get a truck, do you think?" Fritz asked Son once we were reunited -- still at my parents' -- the following week.
"Oh, yeah!" says Son. "When?"
"Oh, I don't know." But he's got something up his sleeve, has Fritz.
Driving home all together after the Fourth, we break our journey at Fritz's mom and dad's in Idaho. Who had, it turns out, already asked Fritz if he were interested in taking their truck since Fritz' mom can't climb into it anymore. Unfortunately(?) it's a Chevrolet.
"Is that better than a hemi?" asks Son.
"Well, a hemi is faster. If we were in a race, your grandpa would win. But this diesel can probably pull more. It's stronger."
"How much stronger?" Son wants to know.
"Say if we were to tie the two trucks together for a tug of war, very probably we'd drag your grandpa's truck all around the parking lot."
The next morning I hear Son ask, "Dad, would you rather be fastest or strongest?"
"It's not -- " his Dad begins.
"Not a car, just yourself," Son clarifies. "Fast as Tyson Gay." Whom Son is convinced is a cousin somehow since Tyson and my parents share the same name.
"Or how about Usain Bolt?" asks his Dad.
They discuss this at length. "I'd hate it to break your leg and while you're in the hospital someone breaks your record!" says Son.
"I think I'd rather be strong," decides his Dad finally. "If you were fastest you would just run away from everyone. If you were strongest you could work together with everyone."
"Or you could fight against everyone," adds Son.
"Yeh -- I suppose if that's necessary."
"Would you rather -- Dad, here's two more questions for you. Would you rather be fast and strong? Or would you want to teleport?"
Well," says his Dad, "I've always wanted to teleport. Could you take someone with you?"
"Yeah," says Son. "Like Harry Potter. If you all hold onto this key then if one of you has the power you can teleport together."
"Could I teleport without the key?"
"Yeh," says Son.
"Then I'd want to teleport. Think -- I could teleport you BING here to Grandma's house and go back BING and teleport your mom BING go back BING teleport Eldest BING go back BING teleport Middlest BING - that fast we could come here for dinner!"
"Would you rather," asks Son, "be fast, strong, and teleport? Or be able to fly?"
"Oh, I'd rather teleport."
"Would you rather be fast, strong, teleport, and fly? Or go biking?"
"Well," says his Dad, "I'd probably bike anyway."
"But if we had the power to teleport, too, then you couldn't hold onto us and we'd just BING to Astoria and the bike ride would be over."
"Daddy, would you want to be fast, strong, teleport, and fly? Or live forever? - " And then answers himself in a rush -- "I don't think I'd want to live forever because then I wouldn't get to see Jesus and then you wouldn't have powers and besides you live a long time anyway -- which would you choose, Daddy?"
. . . you live a long time anyway . . .
". . . I think I'd teleport," says his Dad.
"Yeah," says Son.