Wednesday, January 13, 2010

apples and oranges

I was curious a while back, waiting for our order at a Chinese restaurant, reading over the year of the Rat, year of the Tiger, trying to figure out where and who we all were.  Idly curious I was.  And discovered another reason I am glad my life is not bound by astrological manipulations. 

I.e., my husband and I would never have been allowed to marry.

"Ox is patient, methodical person while the Horse is a fast, spontaneous person. The Ox may not like it when the Horse keeps taking off in different directions. The Horse in turn may find the Ox to be very rooted to be of any action." [sic]

(Fritz, are you very rooted to be of any action?)

I'm still a sceptic. 

I can see that words like "very stable and reliable,"  "day after day," "without a complaint," "stick at a task longer than anyone else," "meticulous," "systematic," and "prefer to stick with the known rather than the unknowns" all apply surprisingly well to Fritz.  But I still can't quite believe that every single one of the babies lined up in their little bassinets in front of the maternity window on either side of baby Fritz and not only that day but every day that year from county to county all over the face of the land and even leaping over all oceans to include every child born within that particular 12-month window of time all over the world have grown up to be equally stable, hardworking, reliable.   

And if they were/are, why isn't the world in much better shape than it is today?

And don't tell me it's because of those irresponsible Horses and the rapscallion Rats who are apparently our "preferred mates."

Really, am I ____ ?
  • "aggressive" (surely never),
  • "ambitious" (only as necessary),
  • "quick-witted" (I only wish), 
  • "intelligent"  (okay, but who wouldn't admit to same?)
But I have yet to "become the center of attention in parties"  for any reason at all - let alone because of my "passion to dress up, blend in with the 'a la mode' and yet very stunningly stand-out" - not to say I wouldn't like to, but the mechanics of all that blending and stunningly standing out is and has been always beyond my ken.

Fritz may agree that I am "very stubborn when they don't get what they want" and "can flare up a temper" (which makes it sound as if I had a few extra tempers to spare), but would he really say that I am "too cunningly focused on what they want and this can become their weakness when fitting in on a team," or that I am "singularly focused on what they want to achieve in life that they may not bend over backwards for the good of the team"?

Nonsense!  (mostly nonsense! okay, sometimes. maybe. but I have clinical back-ache from all the bending backwards I do.  Yes, I do!

I'll show you the note from my doctor. 

If I can find it.)

I am indeed "quite healthy and love outdoors and adventures" but so is and does Fritz.  And Eldest.  And Middlest.  And YoungSon.  Who are all other animals. 

I'm still a sceptic.  Especially when they say things like ~

Ox and Horse :

This match is not good.

There is a clash of values. The ox is stable but a bore to the horse as horse attention spell is short. The ox sees the horse as disorganized and unreliable. This results in both parties not communicating to each other.

We communicate.  Only too well sometimes.

My "attention spell" spans long moments of time.  Regularly.

Fritz boring?  How very unkind of them to say so.

Some zodiacal gurus hold out hope for the success of our union - if we dilute the mix a bit:

For this match to work, find a peaceful home where you can welcome others.

Others are rather more blunt and much less optimistic:

Unfortunately you will part.

And of course they are right.  We will part.  We part every morning. 

But we always come back together again every evening. 

Remember the part about "stick at a task longer than anyone else"?  Remember that part about "very stubborn"? 

And if Fritz prefers the known to the unknown I at least have wit enough to know how lucky I am.

There was a thing  floating around awhile back about how wonderful sisters are - how your gal friends are there when love waxes and wanes and when men don't do what they're supposed to.  It was smarmy in the usual style.

I thought then what I think now.   (We of the Horse are stubborn that way.)  And will say again as I said then:
I love my sisters (and daughters and mother and women friends), but I haven't noticed that as a whole "sisters" are any more reliable than the Men who "don't do what they're supposed to do." And it is Fritz who has now lived with me the most closely for the longest time and has been the most trustworthily there--not necessarily cheering me on from the rim always and not always waiting with open arms.
Rarely intervening in my behalf.
But there in the bad valley with me, pulling his end of the load.
It's true, love has waxed and waned--just like the moon, but just like the moon always somewhere in the sky--working steadily across my sky through the days as well as the nights.
It has been women friends who have sometimes let me down and shrugged me off. Who of them has ever intervened on my behalf?
There has at times been distance--mostly in miles and available time and attention--between my sisters and mother and me. But Fritz has always been present and close. Even if irritatingly so sometimes.
We've burdened each other and rasped on each other and wearied each other's hearts. But I've always known where he is. And it's never been far.
There is a sweetness between sisters and other women friends that has been one of the delights of my life. But it's Fritz who stands there and suffers beside me, who descends and arises with me, bewildered often but dependably loyal.
What else is a mainstay? He isn't all I need to make my life worthwhile, but in the last 20 years he has been contributing more actively and regularly to the worth of my life than any other.
That's why I'm stubbornly sceptical of any suggestion that we aren't destined for success. 

And Fritz says he's not going anywhere.

And the kids -  well, here's what they think about the whole "parting" thing ~

But we'll let the zodiacal experts have the last word:
Love and romance for the Horse happens only with a truly compatible partner.  Because they are intense and forceful they can be pretty hard to tame.

Therefore: compatible.

It's that simple.  

If I'm a Horse, I've been tamed.



Neighbor Jane Payne said...

I LIKE this post. I love the photos supporting the story. I love the writing.

Every ox needs a horse and vice versa. Just ask Laura Ingalls Wilder.

suzanne said...

I'm a dragon and always felt so at home in my animal. And my children and husband seem so right too...but all the other people born that year? maybe I just have to know all their insides?

Mrs. Organic said...

I've never thought of it that way before. Mr. is an Ox and I am a Pig. Really.

I wouldn't say he is boring or that I am patient, but certainly most of the characteristics fit. I was beginning to have IB withdrawals, I love your writing.

Lisa B. said...

I love this, a story about long love. Do you know that Robert Hass poem "Against Botticelli"? I have thought of it many times over the years:

The myth they chose was the constant lovers.
The theme was richness over time.
It is a difficult story and the wise never choose it
because it requires a long performance
and because there is nothing, by definition, between the acts.

I love a story that, against the odds, manages to succeed at that myth, even if in a non-mythic way (just like regular life, to be non-mythic).

And: DO you have a few extra tempers to spare? because I have gone through a shocking amount of my supply of tempers of late.

I have forgotten my Chinese astrological animal. Probably because it is an unattractive animal with unattractive traits, and I frankly just can't deal.

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